A close friend has suggested Abby Jimenez books to me many times. I went in to this book blind with only the knowledge that it had a dementia story line. She warned I may not be ready for it but if I was, I would love this book. I will own this book one day and read it many times. It will look like my first Gone With the Wind book. Pages falling out and more tape than original binding glue. I have never connected with a book like I did this one.

Every emotion flowed through me while reading. It was the book I need right at this moment. I was a caregiver to my dad who had dementia and Alzheimer’s. Yes, they are two separate cruel diseases. I didn’t know that until it happened to my family. My dad was diagnosed with them the last 7 months of his life but he had it longer than we realized. He probably had beginning stages before my mom passed in 2020. They are cruel and unforgiving diseases. Your parent really does fade right before your eyes.

I understood what every character was feeling. The isolation you experience and feel when you are a primary caregiver. It’s so real. Your life becomes theirs. The heartbreak you experience daily as you see them decline. The anger and cruelty they can inflict because they are scared and don’t understand what is going on. The sundowning that worsens every day and goes on longer each night. It’s scary for you but imagine being trapped in that body and not understanding what is happening to you.

It was the hardest thing I have ever experienced but I wouldn’t change a thing. I was lucky to have a good network of support. My husband who watched me break down daily sometimes and continued to love and support me. A brother who did whatever he could whenever he could. A hired caregiver who became a family friend that sat with him two nights a week so I would sleep more than two hours at a time. Friends who checked me and were just there. Family and friends who understood the change in me. Caregiving is hard. It changes you. It becomes you. Asking for help is hard!

Thank you Abby for the perfect healing book. Thank you to my friends and family for being there for me like Xavier was there for Samantha.

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹